Thought I’d hit you with a little bit of direct response shenanigans today, mainly cause my brain is mush.
Ever notice how sending an email these days feels like shouting at a wall, hell…
Even social media posts tend to just sit there and feel meh.
The thing is.
You fire off a message. Then you hear cricket sounds. Follow up some more. Then even more crickets.
And you start wondering if you’ve somehow become a ghost, if this is your “Sixth Sense” moment and nobody told you.
But we all do this and you get it. Cause you also treat your inbox/feeds like a biohazard zone.
Opening it feels like cracking a door where you trapped something feral and unpredictable.
We’re drowning in the wreckage of the attention economy. (THANK YOU GARY VEE)
Everything feels like a public square set on fire, where strangers attempt to relocate their problems into your Tuesday afternoon.
So what do you do when you actually need someone to respond?
Time to steal from the people we love to hate…
Salespeople.
Yeah, I know. Those “HUGE SAVINGS TODAY ONLY” emails make you want to throw your laptop out the window. But they work. And whether we like it or not, they understand human psychology better than most therapists.
So let’s ethically jack what they do and use it for good.
Whether you’re trying to close a work deal or convince your mate to finally pick a restaurant or place to grab a few beers.
Firstly, you need to appeal to their self interest.
Stop thinking about what YOU need and start with what THEY get. The reader doesn’t care about your goals. They care about their Tuesday not getting worse.
Don’t bury the benefit. Lead with it. First line. “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.”
Not “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, when I was a young boy…”
Get to the point ffs.
Second: Your subject line better earn its keep. The rent is due and those words need to pay up.
The best ones offer a benefit, promise news, or spark curiosity. Ideally all three.
“Newsletter #37” is not a subject line. You might as well pretty it up and send it straight to the cemetery. Nobody’s opening that.
Something like “How we quietly crushed Q2 while everyone else flailed around.”
Same information. Now it’s gossip. Now it’s alive.
Probably most important: Write like a human, I honestly don’t think I have any other way to say this.
But here goes: H U M A N
“Our groundbreaking app provides cutting edge tools to enhance workplace synergy.”
Who talks like this? Nobody you’d want to have a beer with, that’s who.
Write like you’re sitting across from someone, telling them something that matters between bites of a sandwich.
Short paragraphs (under five lines). Short sentences. No jargon that sounds like you’re regurgitating an HR manual.
“Circle back” makes me want to run in squares out of spite.
Fourth: Tell them exactly what to do. (I have no clue how people fuck this up)
Don’t hover around the point like a nervous teenager asking someone to the dance.
Give them ONE action. One deadline. Make it stupidly obvious.
Not “Let me know what you think.” Try “Can you send feedback by Wednesday so we can move forward?”
A clear call to action wins. You’re doing the hard thinking so they can just reply “yes” and get on with their life.
Here’s the dirty secret which does suck to a degree:
Nobody’s reading your email/posts. They’re skimming.
But you know what everyone reads?
The P.S.
It’s where you drop the performance and just say the thing. “P.S. Please send the draft by 5PM or the boss will lose his mind at both of us.”
These techniques are just good manners in this whole marketing shindig thing we’re doing. If you’re borrowing someone’s attention for a few minutes. Consider it a favour from them to you.
Tell people why they should care. Be friendly. Ask for one thing and make it easy.
The best types of emails/posts aren’t seen as transactions. Think of them as slow built connections.
Stephen Walker.
P.S. See? You read this bit. Now go write an email/post that doesn’t make people want to fake their own death.
P.P.S. A lot of these things can be forgotten if you’ve built somewhat of a “brand” but that’s a topic for a whole different time.