Ryan Holiday was wrong.
Our ego is not our enemy.
Yes there’s a time where we need to put our ego to the side and just look at things from a different lens, but when it comes to building your own little world.
You have to embrace your ego. You have to let the shadow self take over. I mean Freud wrote about it and the Bible represents it in a few ways too…
“Take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:4-5)
You think anyone builds a substantial following by being humble and self effacing? You think people subscribe to newsletters written by someone who constantly downplays their own insights? You think audiences are drawn to creators who apologise for taking up space?
Audience building requires a healthy dose of ego. You need to believe that your thoughts are worth sharing, that your perspective matters, that people should spend their limited attention on what you have to say.
Your ego is what makes you think “I have something important to say about this.” Your ego is what gives you the audacity to hit publish when your inner critic is screaming that you’re not qualified enough, smart enough, or experienced enough to have opinions worth reading.
Imposter syndrome anyone?
Freud understood this. The shadow contains not just our dark impulses, but our repressed power, our unrealised potential, our ambitious desires that society has taught us to be ashamed of. When you deny your shadow, you deny the very drives that could propel you to create something meaningful.
Even the Bible gets this right…
“Take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother’s eye.” It’s not saying don’t help others see better, it’s more fix your own vision first so you can actually be useful to others.
In audience building terms…
Own your expertise, acknowledge your knowledge, embrace your unique perspective. Stop pretending you don’t know things you clearly know. Stop downplaying insights that could genuinely help people. Stop apologising for having opinions and all of that good stuff.
You’ve been gaslit enough by the marketing bros. Now it’s time to get to work.
Stephen Walker.