There’s always some magical sauce to create magnetic copy and when you want to access is it.
Some clown with a $27 micro course will be trying to shill it to you. But after a pretty chilled Friday while lazily watching some 80s trash. I thought eh, why not write something that’ll give the newer folks a little insight on how my brain works.
First off. It’s not some fancy MBA bullshit.
It’s The Stuff, It’s They Live, It’s Chopping Mall, TerrorVision and every glorious piece of 80s horror trash that your film school friends pretend doesn’t exist.
Now even though these are considered cinematic abominations. To me they’re the copywriters Bible that hasn’t really been discovered yet.
One thing that makes these trash films great is they know what they are (and they don’t give a fuck)
These movies? They’re not trying to be Citizen Kane. They’re trying to sell you on a ridiculous premise in 90 minutes or less. Sound familiar? That’s literally what you do in a sales letter, except you’ve got maybe 30 seconds before someone bounces.
The Stuff doesn’t apologise for being about killer dessert. It commits. Hard. Your copy needs that same balls out commitment to whatever weird ass product you’re pushing.
They hook you in the first five minutes (or they die)
B horror directors knew they had to grab eyeballs immediately, cause if they didn’t, some teenager was gonna shove their tongues down their girlfriends throat and make out instead of watching their movie.
Every opening scene is a masterclass in attention grabbing.
Immediate conflict.
Something is wrong.
Stakes are clear.
No fucking around with backstory.
Your email subject lines? Your opening paragraphs? Same energy. Hit ’em fast, hit ’em hard, make ’em need to know what happens next.
They speak human and not that corporate drone shit.
Nobody in Night of the Demons says “We’re experiencing a paranormal event that may impact our evening plans.” They’d say “Holy shit, that demon just possessed Kevin!”
Strip away the jargon. Talk like a person. Use words that make people feel something. Even if that something is mild terror about their next mortgage payment.
They understand primal fears.
You know what Videodrome is really about? Technology taking over our lives. Sound relevant? These movies tap into universal anxieties and dress them up in latex and fake blood.
And as much as everyone says that if you’re using fear to market something it’s gross.
Well… Find the fear. Feed the fear. Solve the fear.
We aren’t rational at all and fear screws with us every single day.
They create instant emotional investment too…
Within ten minutes, you care about these idiots. You want the Final Girl to survive. You’re rooting for someone, even if they’re obviously gonna get axed by a killer robot.
Make your readers see themselves in your copy. Make them give a damn about the outcome.
If you can. Tonight, watch The Return of the Living Dead…
Then analyse this:
How does the opening hook you?
When do you start caring about the characters?
What fears does it exploit?
How does it maintain tension?
What makes you keep watching even when it’s ridiculous?
Then steal those techniques. Not the zombies (unless you’re selling zombie related products, in which case, go nuts) Steal the structure. The pacing. The emotional manipulation.
Good copy has never been about features and benefits.
It’s as if you were creating a horror movie where your reader is the protagonist, the problem is the monster, and your product is the chainsaw that saves the day.
The best 80s horror knew that people don’t buy logic.
They buy emotion and they buy the promise that this time they’re definitely not gonna get eaten…
Your copy should make them feel the same way.
Now stop reading this email and go watch some trash cinema.
Stephen Walker
https://www.facebook.com/stphnwlkr
P.S. If you think this is crazy, you’re probably right. But crazy converts. Safe copy gets ignored.