If you know anything about England.
You’ll know that we don’t have the luxury of walk in showers.
That being said. The bath that doubles as a shower is always good fun until it’s not.
Now most adults (definitely not me lol) would have one of those grippy mat things to stop you from slipping, followed by demolishing your skull against whatever hard object might get in the way.
I don’t like those grippy mat things because they’re fucking gross. I won’t go into details but all you need to know is they are disgusting. They’re horrifying petri dishes of doom that collect enough DNA samples to clone a small village. No thanks.
The again. Some of us (definitely NOT me again…) live life on the edge. I’ll surf that porcelain wave like a death defying idiot, one foot placement away from becoming a tale at the next family gathering or whatever…
(Luckily the majority of my family either hate me and/or don’t speak to each other so that’s not a big worry)
But with this near death slip hitting me.
It got me thinking.
Just like showing up to that soul crushing job or facing that google doc that’s mocking you from your desktop.
You’ve got to get clean. Every. Damn. Day.
Now I’ve made a promise not to talk about the stuff that girls who follow astrology talk about but… (Cause they’ve gotten me into trouble before)
The universe doesn’t care if your bathroom is trying to murder you.
The day doesn’t stop because you’re performing a one person circus act between the shower curtain and certain doom.
You show up, you do the dance, you try not to die. Sometimes that’s all life is. Just showing up and trying not to crack your skull open on the toilet and die.
Pretty morbid for a Friday night right?
Maybe life is just one big slippery bathtub?
Who knows? I certainly don’t.
Between me watching horror movies and watching people get murdered by a mother fuelled by revenge (cause her son drowned)
To me nearly existing this mortal plain because of my lack of grippy mat in the shower…
I really honestly don’t know what to make of the world sometimes.
Yeah life can be a bitch, but we just need to show up before we exit stage left.
It’s fun. It’s worth living and if we can tell silly tales (like this one) I’m sure people will at least remember you being entertaining and memorable.
We have to shower every day. We have to show up every day. Might as well stay consistent about it eh?
Stephen Walker
P.S. I’m cooking up something which is old school for all of us nerds to hang out in. Facebook just sucks a bag of dicks and I really don’t like the platform at all. I want that old nostalgia baby. Where we can rise up with our pitchforks and talk about things we are passionate about, while still having an anonymous presence.