It’s cold here in England and Black Friday offers usually start way sooner than the 29th.
I’m sipping on a nice hot tea and it got me thinking.
Neediness applies to everything but I’m gonna give you a little bit of a scoop when it comes this here writing thing…
So whether you need to write to make sales, or you’re crafting epic dialogue for your characters. This will apply.
And the thing is we have to talk about how to not be a anxiety-manufacturing dick-wizard with our writing.
Because holy shit, we’ve all seen enough FOMO-powered stress-carnival copy to last twelve lifetimes.
Stop writing like your audience is about to miss the last helicopter out of word-Vietnam or whatever…
BE A GODDAMN HUMAN
“Hey, we’ll be here when you’re ready” instead of “HOLY FUCK BUY NOW OR YOUR FAMILY WILL STARVE”
Write like you’re talking to a friend, not screaming at a hostage.
I’ve re-read Orwell’s 1984 a few times and honestly it’s getting to the point where this Orwellian nightmare is manifesting itself.
Have a look around online, or out in the shops. They’re ramping up the scarcity and offer sauce to an 11.
STORY TIME, MOTHERFLECHETTES
Now when this applies to your fictional writing. Your characters don’t need to respond to texts like they’re diffusing a bomb.
Show people acting like actual people, not meth-addled prairie dogs.
AD COPY THAT DOESN’T MAKE PEOPLE WANT TO PUNCH WALLS
Old way: “LIMITED TIME OFFER ENDS IN 3.5 SECONDS!!!”
New way: “Cool shit here. Get it when you want it.”
Look, here’s a little truth-nugget…
People are stressed enough without your writing turning their amygdala into a pinball machine. Write like you give a shit about their mental health.
Want the secret sauce?
Come a little closer.
Closer…
WOAH NOT THAT CLOSE
Here it is: Don’t be an asshole. Write with respect. And respect their time. That’s it. That’s the whole cake.
We don’t need to be panic-merchants. Our readers and our customers therapists will thank you.
Stephen Walker.