Someone up there is using England as their own personal microwave.
Whether it’s Aliens, God or if we’re in some simulation like The Matrix.
It’s been hot.
Not nice hot.
Flesh is slowly cooking into a nice medium rare kind of hot.
And… as much as us Brits like to moan about it being too hot. It also gets too cold and everyone knows we wouldn’t be British if we didn’t whine about the weather every now and then.
Now as much as I was watching my laptop slowly transform into a makeshift George Foreman grill today.
My brain’s been about as functional as a chocolate teapot in this weather, and the only thought bouncing around my head was whether it was socially acceptable to work naked at my local Starbucks.
Sadly it was not.
But anyways. I’m trying too pool together some ideas and it just struck me. This is exactly what bad copy feels like to your readers…
When you blast them with the same tired, overheated bullshit that every other marketer is spewing. When you hit them with stuff like;
“Revolutionary solutions”
“Game changing opportunities”
“Market leading innovation”
Now as much as it feels like you’re forcing them to stand in this bastard heat wearing a three piece suite made of buzzwords…
There is a different play at hand.
Personally I’d like to be the ice cold bottle of whatever-the-fuck that your readers desperately need right now.
The kind that makes them go “oh thank fuck” when they find it. Gulp it down and can breathe a sigh of relief.
And so it just comes back to doing the basics and not sounding like some corporate shitlord.
And while it does sound difficult to do. It’s really not.
It’s as easy as writing like you’re sitting in their kitchen at 3 am, having a real conversation.
Not like you’re presenting a PowerPoint to a board of directors who stopped giving a shit sometime around slide two.
And even when my brain is shutting down cause of the heat. I’m reminded that the best writing, which is the kind that actually sells, isn’t about being clever or professional or whatever corporate buzzword bingo you’re playing.
It’s just the type that is raw and real and filled with genuine emotion.
And so with everything. Go back to the basics.
If you’re wanting brush up on how to write to sell.
Well… Write to Sell by Andy Maslen will give you a slap upside the head.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to stick my head in the freezer and contemplate whether this is what dinosaurs felt like just before that meteor hit.
Stephen Walker