Picture this… it’s midnight, I’m three cold slices of pizza deep (still greasy, still judgmental), and I decide to check out this new series.
The Bondsman. Why? Because Kevin Bacon.
Because I have a soft spot for undead weirdness and because my brain craves some weird shit because everything lately has been a snooze fest.
I’m trying to make this as spoiler free as possible, but also, you know me. No promises.
So here it is…
Kevin Bacon is a backwoods bounty hunter.
Who just so happens to be dead.
But not dead dead. Like the undead, but with a job and a questionable sense of style.
I’d say it’s like if John Wick got run over by a combine harvester.
Then woke up, and decided to keep hustling souls for the DEATH himself.
There’s grit. There’s blood. There’s a chicken that may or may not be possessed (Okay it’s not but I thought it would’ve been cool if there was.)
But here’s where it gets all meta and useful, because I know you always on the lookout for a way to make your writing less oatmeal and more, I dunno, spicy meat tornado.
Lesson 1: Character Agency Is Everything Even If You’re Dead
Bacon’s character? He’s got problems. Big, existential, death flavoured problems. But he chooses to do something about it. He doesn’t just shamble around whining about the afterlife like a sad sack of expired deli meat. He hustles. He fights. Sometimes he loses (spectacularly), but dammit, he tries.
Takeaway: Don’t let your characters be human shaped paperweights. Give them something to want. Give them something to do, even if it’s just revenge, redemption, or more pizza.
Lesson 2: Genre Mashups are your friend.
This show? It’s horror. It’s comedy. It’s a little bit Western, a little bit “what if the Coen Brothers made a zombie flick.” And it works because it doesn’t apologise for being weird. It just is.
Like, one minute you’re laughing at a fart joke; the next, you’re staring down the barrel of existential dread and a shotgun made of bone.
Takeaway: Don’t box yourself in. Mix genres. Throw in a curveball. Your story doesn’t have to fit in a neat little Amazon category.
Lesson 3: Dialogue. Make It Snap, Crackle, and Bleed.
The Bondsman is packed with dialogue that’s sharp enough to slice bread. Hell, sharp enough to slice you. Minimal tags. Maximum punch.
People talk like people. Or, at least, like people who have had a few concussions and a run in with the supernatural IRS.
Takeaway: Don’t let your dialogue die on the page. Make it do push ups. Make it bleed. Make it say more with less. If you can cut a tag, cut it. If you can make it weird? Even better.
Bonus Round: Writing Advice, Stephen style.
Write what scares you.
Write what makes you laugh and cringe.
If you get stuck, ask yourself: “What would an undead Kevin Bacon do?”
(Usually, the answer is: “Something reckless, something funny, and probably something illegal.”)
Alright, enough rambling.
Go watch The Bondsman.
Then go write something that makes you feel alive.
Or undead.
Or at least less bored than you were five minutes ago.
Buy yourself some pizza. You’ve earned it.
Stephen Walker