Allegedly, apparently, maybe-you-saw-that-kiss-cam-too…
Listen. I’m not gonna judge you if you’re reading this while wearing a Coldplay t-shirt. (maybe)
Let’s talk about Andy Byron, the A.I. wunder CEO of Astronomer, who just got yeeted from business class dignity straight onto a jumbotron of shame.
So the setup goes a little something like this:
November 2024 and a press release drops.
[Insert selfies that are going to get smashed all across LinkedIn]
“Kristin’s exceptional leadership!”
“Culture carrier!”
“Synergy rocket boosters strapped to our disruptive butts!”
Andy’s gushing so hard you can practically surf the tsunami of corporate jargon all the way to IPO-ville…
Then we hit a little bit of a fast forward to July 2025:
Gillette Stadium, Coldplay on stage. Everybody glow-stick-waving their inner high-school feelings…
The camera pans.
There’s a giant screen.
Boom. We have Andy + Kristin.
Now I’m not a Coldplay fan but Chris Martin in this moment could be classed as a soft rock Jedi. A patron saint of mellow divorces drops some wild: “Either they’re having an affair or they’re very shy.” type commentary.
Followed by 65 000 fans collectively transforming into TMZ interns with pocket cameras.
This is a HR shit show of the highest order but as anything. There are lessons to be learnt.
Stadium jumbotrons are unforgiving as hell.
Public figures + what’s supposed to be considered private = viral popcorn for the masses.
“Proven leadership” is utter bullshit.
HR rules are like diet plans. Great when they work but if someone says wanna come over for a plate of hotwings and nachos… Well RIP to the diet.
But the thing is. The internet NEVER forgets and we all love a stadium sized face palm on occasion.
I just feel bad for the other parties who are not involved. It’s gonna be a hellscape to clean up.
Stephen Walker.