Let’s talk mindset. Not the Instagram kind. Not the “manifest your matcha latte” kind.
The real, ugly, under the fingernails kind. The kind your parents accidentally bent out of shape, out of love, sure, but still…
(Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad. It’s not your fault. Or maybe it is, but you probably meant well)
I’ll also preface that you don’t have to make this your whole personality.
If you try to keep at this practice 24/7 and cut EVERYTHING out. You will explode mentally.
So here’s a few lies you might’ve been told when you were a kiddo…
Hard work guarantees success.
If you’re struggling, try harder. (Or just be quieter about it)
You are what you repeatedly do. (But only if what you do is what everyone else wants you to do.)
Self deprecation is charming, and “tough love” is the best love. (Side quest: Your subconscious is an idiot. It doesn’t get sarcasm. It just eats what you feed it, no questions asked)
And sure, if you’ve got kids, you know the cycle.
You want them to be better, softer, safer.
You want to wrap them in bubble wrap and send them into the world with a pre printed apology note.
The most important thing though. The one nobody ever tells you…
…is how you TALK to yourself.
Remember…
Your brain is a sponge.
It soaks up everything, even the garbage. Especially the garbage, cause there’s more garbage than good in the verbal world.
If you call yourself a dumbass enough times, guess what? That voice sets up camp. Puts its boots on your coffee table. Wipes Cheeto dust on your soul.
The difference between a joke and a curse is repetition.
Your subconscious doesn’t know you’re kidding. It just gets the memo: You suck.
Daily affirmations? They sound like cringe, but they work. Because your brain doesn’t know the difference between fact and fiction until you make it learn.
The present tense is everything.
“I’m making $10,000 a month.” Not, “I will, maybe, if I’m good, if the algorithm is kind.” NOW. Speak like it’s happening. Because your mind listens. And then it starts looking for ways to make it true.
Reconditioning sucks.
It’s like trying to teach a stubborn, half feral raccoon how to use the toilet. Messy. Stubborn. Sometimes it bites.
But every time you catch yourself saying something self destructive, swap it out for the truth. Or at least, the truth you want to become true.
Soft language isn’t weak.
I don’t want you to turn into a marshmallow. But also there is no need to be an asshole to yourself. You wouldn’t call your kid a loser for dropping their ice cream. So why do you do it to you?
So here’s your challenge, because I’m not your guru and I don’t have a course to sell you…
Talk to yourself like you actually give a damn about your own future.
Use language that builds, not digs.
Speak in now. Not “someday.” Not “when I finally stop screwing up.”
Catch yourself in the act. Swap out the “I’m such an idiot” for “I’m figuring this out.”
The only thing standing between you and the life you want is the story you keep whispering to yourself when nobody’s listening.
Switch up the story. Make it present. Make it true.
You’ll be shocked at how fast the world changes when you stop feeding your subconscious the same old bullshit.
Mindset isn’t everything.
It’s the only thing you need to get right.
Now go say something nice about yourself. Out loud. (Your brain’s listening)
Stephen Walker.
P.S. If you catch yourself slipping. Don’t worry about it. It’s okay. We’re all reformed raccoons here. Just don’t set up camp in the dumpster.
P.P.S. Shad Helmstetter has a great book you can check out on self talk.