Today your favourite degenerate is in mourning over Twitter.
POLITICO wrote a magically glorious meltdown piece about about Elon Musk’s hostile takeover. Sorry, “acquisition” of Twitter.
Some people call it “X,” if they’re feeling masochistic.
But holy mother of slow motion funeral marches, it’s like watching a once mighty beast, now wheezing and dripping social media gunk all over the place, especially in Europe. They lost 11 million European users.
That’s like the population of a small country, all sprinting away and leaving Musk to scowl forlornly at his rocket ships.
And here’s where I’m going to get on my high horse again…
Which I’ve preached a thousand times. From the mountaintops of righteous marketing mania…
Never trust your entire brand, your sweet lifeblood, to a platform that some random shitlord can gut in a hot second. Because right now, that’s exactly what’s happening.
It’s like someone microwaving leftover sushi at 3AM and hoping it doesn’t become sentient and eat them first.
Europe’s saying “Au revoir” and “Auf Wiedersehen” and “G’bye, ya wankers” to Twitter, and Musk is sacrificing the golden goose for a stack of rancid memes.
Anyway, I still love that bird err, X and maybe I’m just a masochist who enjoys those sweet, sweet micro dopamine hits of retweets. But you can practically smell the decay, can’t you? Like rotting fish heads wrapped in day old newspapers. Because, my fellow email friend, I can’t say it enough…
Own. Your. List.
Start hoarding those email addresses like they’re precious glow-in-the-dark Pokémon cards from 1999.
Build your own ding dang list that no rich overlord can nuke from orbit. Because someday, maybe tomorrow, maybe next Tuesday at 3 PM. Elon might push the big red button (likely labelled “CHAOS?”) and poof, your entire audience disappears into the vapour.
Consider these bullet points (because yes, that’s how outraged I am, I’m bullet pointing my inner meltdown)
Twitter: Slipping deeper into Musk’s rabbit hole, shedding European users like a wet dog shakes off fleas.
You: Laughing maniacally from the safety of your own email fortress.
Email lists: The real superhero no capes, just open rates and good words.
Musk: Possibly too busy fuelling midnight rocket rides to notice his platform hemorrhaging folks.
I swear, time to get out the metaphorical defibrillator and jolt procrastinators into building that newsletter, that blog subscription thing, those monthly digital whatevermajigs, whatever it takes.
In a year, the only folks left on Twitter might be Elon’s bots and that one uncle who thinks everything is a conspiracy (and that birds aren’t real, ironically)
Anyway, if you see me scuttling around the charred remains of that once bustling social birdhouse, feel free to nudge me (gently) I’ll be the one whispering “Gather your emails, gather your loyal minions, run free from the meltdown.”
The article is here if you’re keen
Stephen Walker