So picture this nightmare…
King couldn’t write a better horror novel tbh.
You’re innocently scrolling through Twitter.
Sorry, “X” cause apparently we’re all living in Elon’s mid life crisis now.
Christ knows how the algorithm works its magic but all of a sudden. Right in front of my eyeballs, are literal pages of Alpha Male bullshit.
It’s basically where grown men with profile pics of wolves or themselves in poorly fitted suits spend their days dispensing “wisdom” about how real men should behave.
It’s like stumbling into a self help seminar run by people who’ve clearly never helped themselves to anything except delusions of grandeur.
The urge to punch myself in the face was immediate. And persistent.
Here’s a sample of the profound insights I witnessed during my accidental deep dive into this testosterone soaked hellscape…
“Real alphas wake up at 4am to dominate the day.” Man, you know what waking up at 4am actually means?
It means you’ve got insomnia, a newborn, or you work shifts. It doesn’t make you a wolf pack leader.
And in my case it makes me tired.
“Women are attracted to men who display high value.”
High value? What are we, cryptocurrency? Last I checked, humans aren’t trading cards you collect and upgrade through gym selfies and dubious investment advice.
But here’s the bit that really made my brain try to crawl out through my ears for the second time in the last 3 months…
The endless threads about “female nature” written by dudes who clearly haven’t had a meaningful conversation with a woman since their mom asked them to take out the bins on a Friday night.
These are grown adults.
Presumably with jobs and responsibilities, spending their time crafting tweets about “maintaining frame” and “passing shit tests.” It’s like watching someone cosplay as a human being based entirely on pickup artist manuals from 2003.
There is some tragedy there too.
Some of these guys probably started out just wanting to feel better about themselves. Maybe they were lonely, insecure, struggling with confidence. All completely normal human experiences that deserve compassion, not exploitation.
But instead of finding genuine help, they stumbled into this ecosystem of grifters selling them a fantasy of masculine dominance that’s about as authentic as a three dollar note. It’s self help for people who think emotional intelligence is a character flaw and vulnerability is a marketing weakness.
You want to know what actual confidence looks like? It’s being secure enough to admit when you don’t know something. It’s treating people, all people as complex individuals rather than NPCs in your personal success story.
It’s understanding that relationships aren’t chess matches where someone has to win. I mean I see that all the time and it’s exhausting just watching people fight those types of battles.
What happened to just being a good human?
I can write a lot more about this topic but it’s just mad to see this still being pushed as hard as it is. Between A.I. and Alpha Bro Bullshit, it’s like the cycle is never going to end.
Anyways.
I’m about to go inhale a pizza because that’s the second most Alpha thing you can do.
The most Alpha thing you can do is share this email with a friend and then tell them to massage this link:
Stephen Walker
P.S. This is the place where all the cool kids hang out. We still beers from our parents and smoke cigarettes behind the school gym.