*aggressively mainlines sixth coffee while arranging brain fragments in murder shed*
Put down that pristine writing manual and back away slowly, because we’re about to commit premeditated murder on the concept of “proper writing.”
Let me inject this truth directly into your creative bloodstream.
Writing like their is a word-demon living in your skull isn’t just a superpower.
It’s your SURVIVAL STRATEGY for 2025. This isn’t some kumbaya “write how you talk” bullshit.
We’re going DEEPER. We’re performing emergency surgery on your brain and smearing its beautiful guts all over the page.
WHY?
Because while AI is out there creating the literary equivalent of beige wallpaper, you’ve got a mind that’s more like a Jackson Pollock painting made with energy drinks and poor life choices.
Let’s talk about AI for a hot minute.
Everyone’s using ChatGPT like it’s a creative cocaine dispenser. And what are they getting? Content that reads like it was written by a committee of robots trying to understand human emotion through Wikipedia articles.
BUT YOU?
You’ve got that special sauce. That weird, twisted, beautiful brain-meat that no AI can replicate. Your thoughts are a pinball machine in a tornado, and that’s your superpower.
- EMBRACE THE MESS
Your first draft should look like a crime scene where good grammar went to die. That’s perfect. Let it be ugly. Let it be raw. Let it scream.
- FIND YOUR RHYTHM
Some writers are jazz, some are heavy metal, some are that weird experimental stuff that makes people uncomfortable at parties. Be that.
- GET WEIRD OR GO HOME
If you’re thinking “This is too strange to write,” THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO WRITE. Your weird is your warranty.
- EDIT LIKE A MERCENARY
Once you’ve vomited your brain onto the page, grab your machete and start chopping. Make it bleed, but keep its soul intact.
- WRITE LIKE YOU’RE IN A COFFEE-FUELED CONFESSION BOOTH
One reader. One voice.
Why does this matter more than your morning coffee?
Because in 2025, attention spans are shorter than my patience for proper pants-wearing protocol. The internet is drowning in content smoother than a freshly waxed dolphin, but it’s all as soulless as a corporate mission statement.
Your brain – that beautiful, chaotic, possibly concerning collection of neurons – is the only thing that can cut through the noise.
So stop trying to write “properly.” Stop trying to sound like everyone else. Write like your thoughts are being chased by rabid squirrels through a carnival fun house. That’s where the magic happens.
Stephen Walker
P.S. Yes, I wrote this manifesto pantsless as always (Common theme now eh?)
P.P.S. The squirrels watching through my window are taking notes. They’re definitely planning to plagiarise my style.
(No brain cells were harmed in the making of this post. Results may vary. Side effects include increased creativity and decreased ability to write boring content.)