Stephen Walker – Opinionated Ad Man, Writer and Author

  • Mike Tyson was right

    “Social media made y’all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.” Probably one of my favourite sayings from ol’ Iron Mike. The thing is. We’ve created a consequence free zone where people can be absolute shitheads without any real accountability. And you see it more where people…

  • I thought I killed my brain today.

    Today I thought it was a good idea to sit around and do nothing. Turns out that “nothing” was actually the worst fucking thing I could’ve done. I’m still getting over whatever it is that I caught, which managed to kill my voice off for a few days. So today, my brain turned to mush.…

  • Rewatching Transcendence because apparently I hate sleeping peacefully

    I have a particular talent for psychological self torture, which is why I’m rewatching Johnny Depp in Transcendence while AI chatbots are getting better at writing than most humans and everyone’s pretending this is totally fine and normal… [DEEP BREATH] The thing is nothing says “healthy coping mechanisms” like watching a movie about uploading human…

  • We need hobbies

    This is gonna be a straightforward one. What hobbies do you have or have neglected this year? I need something fresh to dive deep into, so I’d love to see what you’re already obsessed with. Yes. I read and write but hey, it’s not really a hobby to me. If I have to write an…

  • Customer service ghost town

    It’s very rare for me to get annoyed at anything. But customer support is where most businesses go to die. Whether you’re a solo business owner or some corporate behemoth, it’s wild to me that the thought of ignoring your customers and clients is nuts. You call a company with a problem and immediately get…

  • The Lee Child school of prose

    Hey you. Yes you. Put down that copywriting book. Stop reading another blog post about “the secret to high converting headlines.” Quit circle jerking with other copywriters who all learned from the same three gurus who learned from the same two books written in 1966. *Cough Breakthrough Advertising cough* Pick up Lee Child’s The Killing…

  • Every day above ground is a good day

    If you’re reading this, you’ve already won the lottery. Not the financial one. (I mean that would be cool too, I guess…) Though if you’ve got internet access and time to read emails, you’re doing better than billions of people. There’s always a bigger jackpot out there. You woke up this morning. Your heart kept…

  • Performative reading

    There’s an epidemic of people carrying books. I mean it feels like those clowns who carry around designer handbags, but deep down we know they don’t put much in there so they don’t destroy it. But the funny thing is that they strategically placing them in coffee shop photos, while also posting aesthetic shots of…

  • The lifestyles of the chronically online

    We’ve created a generation of chronically miserable shitweasles who feed on outrage and sustain themselves entirely through online conflict. You know the type. You present them with factual information. Complete with sources, references, peer reviewed studies and they immediately refute it without even reading what you’ve shared. They’re not interested in truth. They’re interested in…

  • AWS shit the bed today

    AWS absolutely fucking imploded today, taking half the internet down with it like some archaic house of cards built by a bunch of vibe coders… Websites crashed. Apps became glorified loading screens. Services that millions of people depend on daily just… vanished. Poof. Gone. Because one company controls so much of the internet’s backbone that…

  • sometimes you need to talk about absolutely nothing

    As much as I want to brainwash myself into being a productivity machine… Optimising my morning routine, tracking my habits, measuring every fucking minute for maximum efficiency, sometimes I just need to have a completely pointless conversation about whether or not hot dogs are sandwiches. Or spend twenty minutes debating the physics of cartoon characters.…

  • It’s perfectly fine to not have your shit together.

    Bonjour… You remember that time when you were a naïve kid thinking that adults seem to have their shit together? The thing is. Nobody knows what they’re doing. Seriously. Nobody. Generally they’re making it up as they go. That person who always has the right answer in meetings? They googled it five minutes before walking…

  • Check your head, check on your people

    It’s that time of the year where everyone talks about mental health. The thing is. Your mental health isn’t some weird optional maintenance. You need to truly look after it. You wouldn’t ignore a broken bone or a persistent cough, but somehow we’ve normalised walking around with fractured minds and emotional exhaustion. Take the therapy.…

  • A perfect page is a creative graveyard

    Purity and perfection are entangled together like lovers who can’t let go. A romantic metaphor right? When you sit down to tackle that blank page. You look at it and you know it’s perfect the way it is right now. It’s kinda like a yard after a night full of snow. It’s blanketed in white.…

  • Welcome to Halloweenis

    It’s October, which means it’s officially Halloweenis. Which is my made up holiday for when spooky season collides with the brutal reality that you still need to pay rent and sell your creative warez. We’re creatives and artists but we are not about that starving life. Look, I could happily live in Halloween mode year…

  • Morpheus was right and we’re all living in the Matrix

    Remember when The Matrix felt like science fiction? I do. Ahhh. Good times… I mean it all seemed like a cool philosophical speculation instead of getting down and dirty on Tuesday trying to wash off the stink of existentialism. But here we are… 2025, where everything feels so surreal that taking the red pill seems…

  • Dr AI will see you now

    I know I’ve harped on about AI and all it’s radical bullshittery that’s being force fed down into our throats over the years. Certain people basing their lives and their whole personality around it, hoping it takes off and changes the world because they’ve invested so much time into it, that when it does go…

  • Why most books die in the first paragraph

    “We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.” Hunter S. Thompson knew something most writers never figure out… You have about fifteen seconds to grab someone by the throat and refuse to let go. That opening from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas doesn’t waste…

  • The bastards who steal hours

    Three thirty in the afternoon and I’m sweating into my third cup of coffee at some godforsaken strip mall type of coffee shop just off of the corner of a grunge-y looking building, waiting for a man who said he’d be here at two… The clock is a weapon for anyone who uses it to…

  • Your brain is decomposing

    And you probably don’t even realise it. I’m not going gentle into this Friday night. The thing is. It’s not even your fault. Friends and family are trying to rope us into those endless Tiktok clips. Pulled deep into those scroll holes which do nothing but lobotomise the attention right out of us. Our minds…

  • The art of strategic half -assery

    Sometimes you just need to half-ass things. Could people liken it to failure? Sure. I’d probably just say it’s some sort of survival mechanism in the creative and human sense. I know this goes against everything we’ve been taught about excellence and giving 110% and all that motivational poster bullshit. But perfectionism isn’t a virtue,…

  • I missed a day but have a list…

    It’s rare for me not write anything. Yesterday was one of those not writing days and well, as much as I preach daily emails for all the various reasons and benefits. A day off won’t kill you. Just don’t take too many days off cause then it’ll spiral into many days off… Anyways. I am…

  • I almost became Ed Gein’s next lampshade project

    So I caught whatever plague is making the rounds… Could be a cold, could be the flu, could be the opening act of the next global pandemic. Who knows anymore? These days every sniffle feels like it might be Patient Zero material which is always fun when you’re out and about. Anyway, I dragged my…

  • Check your locks twice

    Ed Gein was a monster. But you might take his side after being given a psychological masterclass in horror. (Or so I’ve been told by a friend who has just binged the whole series in one day…) Granted I’m only 1 episode in, and there was a lot to unpack in the first episode. All…

  • The business of being you.

    It’s exhausting pretending to be someone else. You scroll through your feeds and see these polished, curated versions of human beings. You get sucked into the whole “Maybe I should be more like them.” mindset. This is where you should yell STOP. The things that you’re doing when the lights aren’t on you is what…

  • World’s on fire, be the flame

    Hey you. Yes you. I can see you sitting there doom scrolling through the news, wondering how much closer we are to the singularity where AI finally decides we’re more trouble than we’re worth. Then we wake up and we’re being chased out into the streets by T-800 from The Terminator The world’s going to…

  • Keir Starmer wants to digitise your entire existence

    Wild times in England right now. Keir Starmer is pushing for Digital ID in the UK and we’re already seeing other countries raise their eyebrows in wanting to join in… If you’re not paying attention to this, you should be, because it’s 1984 on amphetamines. They’re selling it as convenience which is always fun. “Streamlined…

  • Why I don’t lose my shit when someone pirates my work (and maybe you shouldn’t either)

    Twitter has been insufferable today. The Litterati? (Literature nazis or whatever) were up in arms on Elon’s hellsite… They were screaming from their high horses about how piracy is terrible and you’re an evil monster if you don’t care about piracy, especially if you’re an indie author trying to make it in this cut throat…

  • How the French accidentally perfected the art of not losing your shit

    The French have this saying… C’est la vie. More aptly put; “That’s life.” Those two words carry the weight of centuries of human experience, wrapped in what I’d call a linguistic shrug, that somehow manages to be both profound and casual at the same time. You’re not resigning nor giving up. It’s something much more…

  • Why everyone hates Gary Stevenson

    Gary Stevenson wrote a book called The Trading Game about how he went from working class kid to Citibank’s most profitable trader, made millions betting against his own community, then had a complete moral breakdown about the whole system. Half the internet wants to burn him at the stake which is fair. He is definitely…