I’ve had this idea percolating in my brain for the last few months.
I need a Big Hairy Audacious Goal
The plan?
Add at least another 5,732 new cult memb– I mean, newsletter subscribers in 2025.
Why such a specific number? BECAUSE ROUND NUMBERS ARE FOR COWARDS AND MARKETING BROS.
Now I’ve kind of made a batshit plan:
THE CONTENT TSUNAMI
I’m going to keep spewing these unhinged writing manifestos into your inboxes with the regularity of a new born baby and there nappy craps.
We’re talking:
Rants about the publishing industry
Bi-weekly breakdowns of why your inner critic is probably a government spy
Monthly “How to Write Without Losing Your Shit” kinda guides
Quarterly “Why Pants Are Optional For Creative Success” essays
THE VIRAL CHAOS STRATEGY
Every single one of you is going to share these emails with at least one other person who needs to hear that it’s okay to write weird shit.
Think of it as creative pyramid scheme, except instead of losing money, people gain the ability to tell better stories while questioning their life choices.
Plus I’m gonna have to probably/maybe bribe you to do it.
THE CONVENTION INVASION
Yes, I’m going to leave my murder shed and actually attend writing conventions. I’ll be the one in the corner, probably without pants, definitely with coffee, teaching guerrilla marketing tactics to fiction writers who think “platform building” means constructing something with Legos.
THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD OF WORDS
We’re starting a secret society within our secret society. A weekly writing prompt challenge that’s so bizarre, so beautifully unhinged, that people will join just to see what the hell we’re smoking. (Spoiler: It’s just coffee. Usually.)
THE GRAND MANIFESTO
I’m writing a book about everything I’ve learned about building this community of literary chaos agents.
Working title: “How to Build a Cult Following Without Actually Starting a Cult: A Guide for Creative Crazies” or something like that.
Why are we doing this?
Because the world needs more unfiltered creativity.
Because traditional publishing needs a swift kick in its privileged ass.
Because AI can’t replicate the beautiful insanity of a human brain on caffeine and deadlines.
Because every single one of you deserves to know you’re not alone in your creative madness.
What’s in it for you?
More unhinged writing advice
A bigger community of equally weird creators
Secret handshakes (metaphorically speaking)
The satisfaction of knowing you’re part of something that’s simultaneously productive and slightly concerning
What’s in it for me?
More people to share my coffee-fuelled manifestos with…
A larger army for when we eventually have to fight the robot writers
The joy of watching this this beautiful grow
Absolutely zero dollars because this newsletter stays free to subscribe to. Even though as a filthy capitalist, I will promote my warez and things I find interesting. But hey, it’s cool. If you’re just watching and enjoying the reading. I’m not gonna ask for a penny.
So here’s the deal: If you’re already part of it, share it. If you’re new here, subscribe. If you’re on the fence, jump off it (metaphorically – I don’t need the liability).
Let’s make 2025 the year we prove that genuine, unfiltered, slightly concerning creativity that still matters.
On top of that. Hit reply and tell me about your goals for 2025.
Stephen Walker
https://stphnwlkr.com/
P.S. Yes, this entire plan was STILL conceived without pants.
P.P.S. The squirrels are still watching. They’re taking notes. I saw one with a tiny spreadsheet yesterday.
P.P.P.S. If we add another 5,732 subscribers before December 2025, I’ll write a story about why coffee should be classified as a supernatural entity. This is legally binding.